Storms

The end of September and the beginning of October have brought a series of storms through north Texas. At the same time, there have been a series of storms in my life. The weather has definitely mirrored my emotional state of late.

The financial storm continues. This has been a drought of epic proportions and I see no relief in the immediate future. The fact that I still have a roof is due to the grace of God and nothing else. He has seen to it that funds were made available when needed, even though between those times it was touch and go. It still is. I have to depend on Him to provide the next windfall as well.

Emotional storms have appeared. Conflicting desires, feelings, beliefs, and actions have rendered me an emotional wreck. My writing has been tainted and stunted because of the whirlwind of emotional garbage that is twisting through my head. The blog title is completely apropos. I have been absolutely out of my mind for about a month.

As I watch another storm move through outside my window today, I think of the decisions I've made in the last few days and even the last few hours. One cause of conflict has been eliminated, but a conflict yet remains. Eliminating the cause does not eliminate the desire. Knowing something is emotionally unhealthy does not necessarily stop one from desiring that thing. Thus, the conflict.

So how does one stop desire? How does one stop wanting that which is wrong, or unhealthy, or unavailable?

I don't have an answer. The storm continues. The sun is there, it's just covered by the clouds. I know it will shine again, both in the reality of weather and in the reality of my life. I cling to that truth.

God is good. He does forgive. He does provide. He does heal, the body and the soul. Nothing is beyond His ability. But He does not force the healing. We must seek it and be willing to undergo the healing. Sometimes that hurts. We have to face things that are painful. Truth is not always an easy thing to deal with. But something I have learned is that unless I am willing to face the pain, and even endure it for a season, I will not heal.

I have endured some of the painful things of my past. I've gotten past them and healed those old wounds. It's the new wounds and pains that I must now face. Some of those wounds are self inflicted. I manage to hurt myself far more often than I am hurt by others. And so I seek out my Father. I know I have been wrong, and I know that my choices were rebellious and disobedient. I pray that I have returned before it's too late to undo any damage.

God is good. God does forgive His wayward children when they are sincere in their repentance. He does not always allow us to escape the consequences of our rebellion, but He does forgive and He does restore. That is the truth I now cling to.

The storms roll in and they will roll out. There may be damage left behind but it is nothing that cannot be repaired. In the end, new growth will emerge, watered by the rain, strengthened by standing against the wind and warmed by the returning sun. I await that day as I endure, and pray, and remain.

Political Tripwires

I'm going to venture into politics, again.

The shenanigans going on in Washington D.C. and other places in this country are incomprehensibly appalling. No one except conservative talk radio seems to be aware that we have a Marxist in the White House and he has an agenda to make this a Marxist country. I know he calls himself a Democrat. I know he calls himself an agent for "hope and change." Bunk. He's out to destroy our free enterprise system, destroy small business, nationalize everything he can get his hands on and throw out the constitution as irrelevant.

Don't believe me? That's okay, you don't have to. You are just as entitled to your opinion as I am. But I believe this. NOT because talk radio says so. Because I listen to what is going on up there in the capitol and I pay attention.

The debacle with GM is only one of many examples that our government is moving inexorably toward a Communist/Marxist type of government. The government wants to tell you what kind of car you will be allowed to drive, what kind of medical treatment you will be allowed to obtain and what you will be allowed to say in public.

Why do you think the mainstream media is so harsh and degrading to people to like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh and the other conservative talk radio people? Because they are afraid people will actually start listening to what they have to say and start questioning the existing policies! How dare we question our own government? Because it is OUR government.

The President and Congress work for US! We hired them, we can fire them. That's what voting is, people! You, a voter in the United States of America has the Constitutional right to hire and fire your Mayor, City Council Member, State Representative and Senator, US Representative and Senator. YOU voted/hired them into that office. They are REQUIRED to answer to YOU. That is the LAW!

Don't let the government continue to break the law and stomp all over your rights and your beliefs. When they are wrong, stand up and say so. Quit being afraid to say that wrong is wrong. The government has no trouble coming down on the citizens when they cross the legal lines, so neither should we as citizens have trouble coming down on our government when they cross the legal lines.

Get off your duffs and say something. Do your homework. Pay attention to what is happening in Washington and your own state capitol. This problem is not limited to the federal government; it happens in state and city governments as well. Start finding out the truth behind what's happening. If you don't, and if I don't, and if we all don't, we're going to find ourselves nationalized out of business.

National Day of Prayer

2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Today is the National Day of Prayer. A day designated to be set aside for people to pray for . . . health, peace, prosperity, protection, rain, sunshine, etc., etc.

To whom are you praying? Do you even know? I hear the words "our prayers are with you" and "Thank God" and "God bless America" and I wonder if people even have a clue anymore just Who it is they are really invoking?

One of the commandments says "You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain." What does that really mean? Don't cuss? Sure, of course. Profanity is just an ignorant man's cover up for his lack of vocabulary. Don't use the name of God or Jesus as an expletive? That, too. But it means so much more.

A person who claims to be a Christian, and yet lives as if that means nothing, is taking the name of the Lord in vain. A person who invokes prayer only when it is convenient or publicly acceptable is taking the name of the Lord in vain.

Prayer is a unique privilege for those who have a personal relationship with God the Father through Jesus Christ. It is the open line of communication to the Savior and Creator. The Holy Spirit is the conduit through which that communication is channeled. God hears the prayers of His children and the prayer of the sinner seeking to become His child. He does not hear the empty words of those He does not know.

I am grateful that we are still allowed to have a National Day of Prayer and that it is called that rather than some namby-pamby politically correct day of "contemplation" or "meditation" or "moment of silent reflection". Prayer is what it is. And in the hands, and hearts and mouths, of true believers, it is the most powerful tool available to anyone.

James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

When God Says "Yes"

Why are people surprised when God answers prayer? And why are Christians surprised when He answers in a way that is truly miraculous?

We have been in crisis mode for over a year now. We've been praying for relief in one form or another for over a year now. Nothing was happening. Nothing bad, but nothing good either. It seems like everything was simply stuck in idle. Very frustrating, at least to me.

Within the last two weeks, yes two weeks, events happened one after the other that led to the relief we've been seeking for months. Timing has been absolutely perfect. Perfect. Why?

Because God has been in control all along. He knew what was coming up and when and timed the relief to arrive at precisely the right moment.

And yet, somehow, we're surprised. Oh, look! Isn't that amazing? It happened so perfectly, it's a miracle!

Miracle? Or just God being God? He's taken care of us throughout the uncertainty. He's been providing answers and provisions on time, every time since the dawn of time, so why would that change now? He certainly hasn't changed over the millennia, why should I be afraid that He's going to change and fail me?

As Christians, we often get so caught up in the circumstances that we really forget that God is in control. We want the answer NOW, when now may not be the right time for that answer. And so often we aren't even asking the right question.

Prayer should be simple. "Father, do Your will and I will follow." We can tell Him what we want; I've often told Him what my preferred solution is. But ultimately, we need to simply ask for His will to be done. He does know best, and He proves it regularly to me.

I don't want bad things to happen to the people I love. So I pray for healing and protection. I don't want to be in crisis, so I pray for relief. But God's plan is bigger than anything I can possible imagine and His goals are so far beyond me that I simply can't see past the end of my nose. I need to learn to simply pray and to pray simply; "Father, do Your will and I will follow." It's a hard lesson and I don't get it and I haven't gotten it yet. But I'm trying. Very.

Thank you Father for the perfect answer at the perfect time.

Do You Believe in Easter?

Once upon a time there was a garden. In it lived two people who had complete access to their King and God. They had a perfect relationship with the One who had created them.

One day, a choice was made. A choice to disobey the one rule God had set changed the nature of the perfect relationship and the two people had to leave the perfect garden. No longer would they have complete open access to commune with God and to worship at His feet and walk by His side. Disobedience and imperfection cannot abide in the presence of a Holy God.

For the next four thousand years, the descendants of these people engaged in a recurring cycle of obedience, prosperity, disobedience, enslavement, repentance, deliverance, and sacrifice. The people wept in their sin for the loss of their relationship with their God. God wept in His heaven for the brokenness of His children.

A child was born. An unusual child. His mother was a virgin; she had never known a man. His father was the Holy Spirit; God Himself.

This child grew up and at the age of 30 became a traveling teacher. He called men of various backgrounds and talents to follow with Him and learn from Him. He taught the people about peace, love, forgiveness. He promised them if they would but believe His words completely, they would be able to once again have the relationship with God that had been lost in that long ago garden. He was inclusively exclusive. Anyone could come; but they could only come through Him. He was the Way to the Father.

The powers that be of the time chose not to believe this Man and had Him arrested on the basis of lies and innuendo. He was found guilty and sentenced to die. His followers cowered in fear that they would be next and some wondered if they had all been fooled.

The Man was executed in the most horrific manner of the time; crucifixion. He had been beaten to near death, stripped of everything, then nailed to a wooden cross and hung up to die, suffocated by the weight of His own body. He was then laid out in a borrowed tomb, sealed behind a massive stone and guards set at the entrance. Even dead, His enemies were afraid of Him. With good reason.

Three days later, some of the women who had followed this Man made their way to the tomb in order to properly prepare the body for burial. The guards were gone, the stone had been moved and the tomb was empty. The women did not know what to think.

In the silence of that tomb, one looked up and saw a man there whom she thought was the gardener. When questioned, He simply looked at her and spoke her name. In that moment she knew; this was her Lord and He had risen as He had promised even though none of them had understood at the time. She ran to others, tears of joy overflowing, and brought them back to the empty tomb.

Later, as they discussed and wondered, He appeared to them all. He allowed the doubter to touch Him and see where the nails had been driven into living flesh and bone.

Now they understood. The final, perfect sacrifice had been made and accepted. God had agreed that the death of Jesus was enough; it was sufficient to atone for the sins of all mankind, past, present, and future.

Anyone could have the gift of that atonement by believing in this Jesus and following Him. One could not buy it; it was priceless. One could not earn it; it was beyond human capability to be good enough. One could only humbly admit that he was a sinner in need of salvation, believe and accept that Jesus had died in his place, rejoice that Jesus had defeated death, and accept that gift of grace that was offered. Simple acceptance of truth.

So do you believe in Easter? Does this day mean something to you beyond a new dress, some chocolate bunnies and colored eggs? Yes? Then ask the people around you "Do you believe in Easter?" and share the truth with them. Share the gift you have been given with those who are dying all around you. Share life. Share truth. Share Easter.

The Madness Marches On

It's down to four. For eight teams, the Sweet Sixteen is now simply the last game of the season and four additional teams played their last games in the Elite Eight. Wildcats, Tigers and Panthers have all been declawed; Jayhawks and Cardinals have had their wings clipped; Bulldogs have been kenneled; Blue Devils have been exorcised; Boilermakes have lost their steam; Sooners will have to try later; the Orange are blue; the Musketeers have been disarmed.

Who will reign victorious? UNC, with their record 18th appearance? The UConn Huskies, with a season record so far of 31-4? What about Villanova, the lowest seed remaining at number 3? Or will it be Michigan State, who stopped the number one of the number ones? My pick? It's hard to say. That is after all, why they play the game. But, since my Bulldogs are out, I will likely stay with the canines and root for the Huskies.

There you are. Three more games. Congratulations to all the teams.

Go Bulldogs! Oh, wait, sorry. Go Huskies!

The Madness that is March

It's everywhere. The sound of sneakers squeaking on hardwood, the hollow thump of the orange sphere bounding off hardwood and glass, the swoosh of the three-pointer. Yes, the NCAA championship tournament is here. It's almost half over right now, and my favorite college team is still in it. That may not be true after tonight, but I can hope.

Oh, who am I rooting for? The Gonzaga Bulldogs.

What? But I'm from Texas! Why not the Aggies or the Longhorns? Why some college that is in Spokane, WA, a place I've never even visited? Simple; John Stockton.

Former point guard for the Utah Jazz, and arguably one of the best to have ever played the position, John Stockton was the primary reason I every watched pro basketball to begin with. His 19 year career was spent entirely in Utah, despite efforts by other teams to lure him away. He still holds the records for most career assists and most steals, and looks to hold them for awhile yet. Throughout his pro career, he made his statements on the court. He never accepted any endorsements, and when he wasn't playing, you didn't hear much about him. In the pro sports world, that's a good thing.

I was always impressed with his play, his work ethic, his respectability, and his loyalty. Things that are missing in too many pro athletes.

And so, I follow his alma mater in basketball, although I really don't follow the Jazz anymore. They simply aren't the same team without him, Karl Malone and Jeff Hornacek. But the Gonzaga Bulldogs are a consistently good team. They have been in the Tournament on a regular basis since 1999.

Tonight, the Bulldogs go up against No 1 ranked UNC. I have many friends from N. Carolina and I do have respect for the Tar Heels, but I still hope the Bulldogs win. I want them to go on and win the whole thing. But, for now, I'll enjoy the fact that they've made the Sweet Sixteen and take one game at a time.

Go Bulldogs!! Sorry, Tar Heels. It's time to go home.

Moving On

Well, I missed February. Oh, I was on the planet. I was even awake and alert for most of the time, but I still somehow missed it.

So, here we are in March and life is moving on. I continue to work on my next manuscript, although I have to admit the time I have spent on it in recent days has been negligible. There have been some very rough bumps in my life's road since the beginning of the year, but, with God's grace and love, I will survive.

I am ramping up my attempts to find places at which to speak; either about India or about the places where God is leading me. And He is leading me into some unknown waters. I can see nothing but the small circle of light at my feet, but then, that's really all He intends us to see. Psalm 119:105 tells us that His Word is lamp to our feet and a light to our path. We are brightly illuminated right where we stand and a short distance up the path in front of us, but we still cannot see very far ahead. Most of the time, I don't want to know what's in store. I think it would scare me more than not knowing.

But lately, I've been battling. Why has nothing changed? What am I doing/not doing? Is it even me? God are you here?

Of course He's here. He's always here. I know that. I have to believe that I know that.

And so I continue, like Job, to question and yet still believe. I am no danger of discarding my faith. I am in no danger of running away from the One who loves me and protects me above all others. I've been simply sitting still for awhile and now it's time to get up and simply move forward. To where? I have no idea. But He is holding the lamp and lighting the area around my feet. I will not fall because He knows where all the drop-offs are and will steer me around them safely.

I will likely get rained on some more. I will still question "what's next" or "what now" but I will also hold fast to the simple truth that "what's next" is what's in His plan. I will go, He will lead.

It's time to move. Forward. In a small circle of light that will never be extinguished or diminished.

Happy New Year

Another year. Another chance to get it right. I don't do resolutions, but there is something to be said for setting new goals and trying new things. Don't really know yet just what those are going to be for me this year, but as they come to mind, or are given to me, I'll share them with those who read this. I'd like to think I'm doing more than just talking to myself here, but it really doesn't matter. Somewhere along the road, someone will happen across this blog just in time to read the perfect post for what they need at the time. I do not believe in coincidence. God plans, God prepares and God makes happen what He wills. I am an instrument in His hands and as long as I stay tuned, He will use me for His purpose. What more can we as His children ask for? To be used for the glory of the God of the Universe. What a calling! And we all have it! All of us who claim to be born again believers have that calling; just to be available to whatever God Himself has planned for us. Amazing. Awesome. Completely incomprehensible. To me at least. But I don't have to understand it to believe it and I don't have to understand to be available. It's actually probably better if I don't understand everything. That would be just a bit scarier than I could handle and I'd likely run screaming into the night. So, by faith alone, not understanding, not logic, not pre-planned itinerary, I follow the King of Kings and my Father in Heaven into the daily adventure that is life as His child. It's quite a trip. Are you following? Or are you waiting for understanding? Don't wait. You'll miss the best parts.

Have a great new year. For His glory.

Robi